This time it is going to stick.

Day 99

Weigh in: 174. 8 (how am I up 1.2lbs from last week??? I definitely did not eat bad enough for any real gain at all)

Ok, so I didn’t do that fantastic yesterday. I didn’t suck either, but I definitely did not eat for weight loss, more for a maintenance type thing.

I actually think I may have to start logging every last calorie again. I just find it hard because we make homemade bread now and when we make meals that aren’t easily countable I stop trying. When I lost weight by counting every calorie I didn’t eat a whole lot of things that didn’t have a definite calorie amount.

I’m trying to think where my flaws lay right now, and honestly I think it is a combination of things.

1) I’m home a lot in the day and get bored and snack more than I should
2) I’m eating larger lunches than I did while losing weight
3) I eat large suppers and it doesn’t change no matter how little or much I eat prior to.

In the past, what has worked best is to have a small breakfast, a small lunch, and my regular (too large) supper and no after supper snacks. It is counter what a lot of people say you should do, as often it says to eat larger earlier meals so you won’t overeat at supper, but it doesn’t work for me, no matter what I eat all day, supper is big.

I just did my measurements and I’m up almost EVERYWHERE since November. Up 1.5 on my waist, 1.75 on my belly button, 1 on my upper hips, 1.5 on my lower hips, 0.5 on my calves (and they take FOREVER to get down)

GAH! I suck! I feel more motivated now though, seeing myself slip backwards from November.


100 days

Laura over at Laura Gets Fit is doing a 100 days thing with herself, and although I’ve started several of these without success before, I want to do it too!

Sooo. I’m going to do a personal 100 day thing too. I like her countdown style as well, instead of counting up.

What are my goals for 100 days? Well 100 days is a bit over 14 weeks, so I’d like to lose between 14-28lbs by then. But my real goal is to just see how much change I can make in myself in 100 days.

100 days from now is Saturday, April 16th.

My plan for day 100 of the 100 day countdown is to eat on plan today. It is my mom’s birthday and we were supposed to do a birthday lunch, but she is sick now, so we will be postponing it. This means I have no excuses not to eat correctly.

Additionally, I want to do a 100 day spending challenge, to spend money on less things I don’t really need!

Daily goals:

1) Eat Well
2) Exercise (Oh yeah, I tore my right meniscus in my knee two days ago and was in the ER, so exercise is just walking at this point).
3) Practice Guitar
4) No unnecessary spending
5) Drama Free – No crying!
6) Read! I organized and I have TWENTY FIVE books that I have not read!
7) Weigh myself each day and be accountable.

100 days.. GO!

Such damage!

Ok, so luckily for me by morning I was back to 174.6, but talk about FRIGHTENING! I can’t believe I did that to myself in a week. Really, why does my body feel the need to grab every last calorie and pack it on?

So here we go again, now instead of a 20lbs to lose challenge for myself, it is a 25lbs to lose challenge for myself. Damn it!

Our apartment gym got a treadmill though! and in 11 days I start my new job and then I shall have a discount on a gym membership! So at least there is that. If only I could get rid of the habit of constantly wanting to snack. It takes me a long time to break that habit and a week to pick it up again!


Augh. Ok so tonight after supper and with clothes on I am 180.0


I haven’t seen a 180 number in a LONG LONG LONG time. Stupid Christmas.. who can do that to themselves? Anyway I’ll be a couple pounds lighter in the morning, but I’m really disappointed in myself. Back to square one.

A terrible weekend for eating

But a WONDERFUL weekend for fun and social life. I have to learn to have a great social life without overeating on the weekend!

Saturday I was 169.6! Today I’m back at 170.4, and I expect a bit of a gain of water weight for a few days, but I think it should be ok. 🙂

The holidays make it very hard to lose anything, there are goodies everywhere and my main method of attack is to just not have goodies around. This is not possible during the holidays, so it makes it much harder for me to stick with how I should be eating.

That being said, I do have a new weapon this year. That weapon is seeing my mom in the hospital for 2 weeks with major complications caused by her obesity. I love my mother so much, she is the best person that I know, and to not know if she was going to wake up again or not was absolutely heartbreaking. I do know that I will have to face this again in the next few years, but it was so unexpected this time.

She has high blood pressure, high CO2 and low oxygen levels, high sugar levels to the point they have told her she has to be on metformin and if it doesn’t come down soon they will say she officially has diabetes, she has a cancer that is linked with obesity, she has trouble walking and gets winded easily. It is too late to fix many of these problems for her, even if she lost the weight. It is awful and heartbreaking and so sad that such a wonderful woman has to go through all this.

It is also a big kick in the pants from the universe telling me that I need to get to and STAY at a healthy weight. I need to exercise and keep my lungs and heart in good shape. I need to be vigilant in screening for cancer and diabetes and other health issues. I can’t make things better for my mom no matter how hard wish for it, but I can change my own future.

So…. why are cookies so tempting?! You’d think that’d be enough to make this EASY. But sadly, it just isn’t easy, and it won’t ever be easy for me. But I’m going to keep on trudging along, because I am determined and persistent, no matter how slow or set back I get, I keep going.

I found this article really interesting, I came across it while looking up “weight” on Google News, and it does make a lot of sense to me. A NASA scientist did a study (on himself I believe it says) with how much keeping the body cold will increase metabolism and aid weight loss. I know what while living the in Arctic last year, we would spend days out “on the land” with the students, and the only way to stay warm was to eat and fuel your body. I have no doubt that in less extreme situations, being even a bit cold would increase your calorie burning to keep yourself heated. I wouldn’t take this to extremes, but it does make me want to bundle up just a bit less when I get a bit chilly!

What do you think? Has anyone experienced being cold leading to weight loss?

I can’t quite remember what my weight was last week, but I think was between 171.6 and 172lbs on Friday

Today: 170.6

Hey, that is the right direction, so I’ll take it. I’ve stalled all week, but whatever, that is good enough for me right now.

I have a major bad week coming up with Christmas and not ONE, not TWO but THREE family dinners I have to attend. Not to mention lots of christmas cookies, candies and drinking. I try to abstain (at least from cookies and candy) but I generally suck at it. So I think that the only way to compensate is eat very little other than these festivities to compensate. Not the healthiest approach, but I really know myself and eating beforehand to make it easier to eat less does NOT work for me!

I have had 3 people in the last few days suggest to me that maybe my body wants to be at this weight, but I refuse to believe that. I am still about 15lbs overweight and I would like to be safely within normal BMI before I “let my body decide”. It isn’t my body that is decided, it is that I can’t seem to make myself eat less than what it takes to maintain myself around 170.

I don’t know where my motivation went. It is here, but it just isn’t as strong as it used to be. It feels faded and almost smoky. Motivation, come out from your hiding spot and make me the weight loss losing machine I have been in the past! Life has been nice during this unintentional period of maintaining my weight, but I’m ready to move along now.

Oh holidays, why do you have to be so much about food anyway?

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